76775115_435676900449468_5779545561023643648_n

It’s no secret. I don’t care about posting on Instagram when the weekend hits. A recent development in our home is that weekend mornings are screen free and family focused. I have to give it to Jeremy. He has been a beacon in our family for a growth mindset. He has worked really hard and selflessly to create a routine for our family that is working really well. I recorded a small portion of it this morning because…

  1. We are shifting toward more video content in the new year.
  2. I felt like it was something I wanted to share with you all.

… but I don’t think I’ll be writing about this every Sunday. One of my personal goals is to really be able to balance my work life and my home life. As a content creator, it can be difficult and down right neglectful to have you phone out ALL the time. My work is at home, so it can be easy to fall into the mentality of always needing to be working to succeed. So, when I’m inspired to share (like today), I will share my insights and experiences… but there will definitely be days that I just want to enjoy my family and I’m learning that some things just need to be enjoyed without capturing them.

Moving on

If you’re new around here you may not know, but Jeremy works the graveyard shift. He doesn’t get to see the kids before they leave for school, he’s asleep before they get home, and still sleeping when they go to bed. Our weekend mornings are the only time we get to really spend as a family, so these routines are intentional and special to both of us.

The routine that we are creating is structured like this. Jeremy and I are up about an hour before the kids are and we make breakfast. Once the kids wake up we all have breakfast at the table together. After breakfast, we engage in an activity. We either play a game, do a park workout together, or do an character building exercise. When we’re done with our activity for the day, we do our chores and enjoy some screen time. This has really helped up start our day more positively as a family.

This morning, we did a strength building exercise. We’ve discovered that it all comes down to self worth and confidence.

When we know our worth and are confident in it, we are stronger. We treat people better, we’re more supportive, we’re more mindful of our behaviors, and we are less defensive. These are just a FEW of the benefits that we’ve noticed have improved in our own family.

Jeremy found this exercise online. I will link it here for you!
*we did not create this ourselves*

76782176_584294942112591_5552539539949486080_n

We, as parents, often look for areas to help our children improve – we want their behavior to be kind, we want them to do their best academically, we want them to eat healthy, and be active. We also have a habit of thinking (and sometimes saying) they can improve or do better. Now, I am currently LIVING by the mindset of, “there is always room for improvement”, but I think we’ve really been approaching it in a way that isn’t inspirational. In fact, it’s almost harmful and I’ll explain why.

I want my kids to thrive and be the best version of themselves possible. I think it’s safe to assume that is what most parents want for their children. When we tell them to act, work, and eat better we are indirectly telling them that they aren’t good enough. At least, that’s what we’re telling their subconscious  (the part of your mind that you aren’t fully aware of, but drives most of your thoughts and actions)
** Let that sink in before you agree to disagree. Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough? Do you ever wonder where that thought was born?**

Before they start to make changes in improvement, let us focus on their strengths and their confidence. Focusing and working on a trait (not skill) they are already strong in will give them the confidence to improve because they WANT to. By working with them to find out what their strengths are you are reinforcing the fact that you BELIEVE in them.

70273436_950032275378357_5908829806119616512_n77110449_733200897192742_7473221813477048320_n

Ultimately, what we want is for their growth to be intrinsically motivated and provide them with whatever support is needed to help them thrive.

Tips for this activity:

  1. Let them do it alone and guide them only if they need a better understanding of a trait.
  2. Be patient with them. Elijah was a pill and a half through this activity, but we stuck to it and he finished. It took him longer than it took Alexa, but he did it.
  3. Display the chain somewhere they can see it.

The idea of creating a chain is so that they can look at it and be reminded of their strengths. We all need that reminder. Imagine how confident we would be if we learned to do this as children. So, we displayed the kid’s chains on our Christmas tree this year. Then, when they work on another skill, they can add to the chain.

I really enjoyed this activity with them. I think Jeremy and I may do one of our own!

76689072_1011562739205586_6037531168318947328_n

If you liked this post and/or thought it was helpful, please like and share this with your friends and family. If you have input or additional ideas, leave me a comment.

Until next time,
Mel

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s