In a nutshell, mindset is a very simple idea that makes a world of difference in how you face day to day challenges. You do know that we all have them, right? Growing up, I want to say 90% of my coaches talked about how they would rather have someone with heart than someone with talent on their team. They were, unknowingly, talking about a growth mindset vs a fixed mindset.
We see it everywhere. People with talent, intelligent people, people with money, pretty people… some of them seem to rely on these qualities alone in life to succeed. It works… for a while. If you’re more intelligent than the average person you’ll probably receive better grades. If you have a natural talent for something, sure, you’ll be better at it than most people. How long will that last though? How far will that take you?
Spoiler alert: Not long enough and most definitely not far enough.
When you practice a growth mindset, whether you have talent or not, you focus on developing or enhancing those abilities (no matter your starting point) through hard work, persistence, and dedication. When you have a thirst for further knowledge, your abilities are ENDLESS and THAT’S the key to success.
Aside from your own successes, believe me when I say that a growth mindset improves your relationships too. When you empower yourself, you also empower others and there is nothing more desirable in a friend, family member, or spouse than empowerment. At least, I have yet to meet anyone who doesn’t LOVE being surrounded by empowering people. When you settle or dwell on hardships many of us end up subconsciously hurting others because we’re unhappy with ourselves and if someone is on a journey of self improvement, they won’t want to associate with someone who puts them down without even knowing it.
So how do you improve your mindset?
Change the way you talk about yourself
“I’m fat” – this is something that slipped out of my mouth daily for so many years that I not only hated looking at myself, I actually hated myself. While I am overweight and this is true, I believe “fat” is a mindset. I am not fat; I have excess fat. When I changed those words, I started to believe that I can lose the fat I have and that “fat” isn’t something that I would let define me.
This is only one example. “I’m never going to get out of debt.” “I’m not pretty enough.” “I’m a bad mom.”
The things that come out of your mouth go right back into your own ears and you end up being the most toxic relationship you have.
Be kind to yourself. Empower yourself. Encourage change within yourself and you’ll start to REALLY believe that you’re capable of so much more than you’ve ever realized.
Allow yourself to grow
Maybe you’ve always struggled in school. You categorized yourself as average, so you never attempted anything that seemed like it was meant for “smart people”. You created a dead end to your knowledge because you thought you could never learn as much as someone else who was naturally smarter than you.
I’m a go-getter… a dreamer if you will. 5 years ago someone made the assumption that I would never know as much as my (then) boyfriend EVEN IF I had as much schooling as he did.
The ignorance was unreal to me.
Sure, he was about to graduate college and I was in yo-yo relationship with my own college career, but even then I knew that was a matter of discipline and drive instead of ability or potential.
Unfortunately, you will always encounter people like this in life. People who doubt you based off of their own insecurities or assumptions of you. These people with fixed ass mindsets don’t know your potential the way you do. (Excuse my frustration!) Be your own light.
Understand that where you’re at is not where you need to be forever and watch yourself grow!
Acknowledge and embrace your imperfections
To put things simply, if you are constantly trying to hide your imperfections (from yourself and the world) you’ll never really overcome them. When you view setbacks or failures as a reflection of who YOU are (or worse when you worry about how other will see you if they know you fail) we’re right back at square one. You’re limiting your success by trying to achieve the idea of “perfection” that absolutely no one has.
I learned to love my flaws so much that I started to share them. After that, a few thanked me and so I shared another setback a few weeks later. Fast forward a year and 8,000 followers later, I now talk to and coach hundreds of men and women about mindset and mental health.
Are you ready for it?! THERE IS POWER IN TRANSPARENCY!
I could write forever on the MANY ways to make strides in your mindset and change the way you tackle life, but these three are a great attainable place to start. What will you do today that changes how you look at life, it’s challenges, and your potential?
Let me know! I’m always excited to learn from my followers!
Thank you to Monique Josephine Photography for my home photo shoot and the pictures used in this blog post