Let’s just dive in and get to the point.
#1 Your wedding day does NOT have to be stressful.
I cannot stress that enough. It’s no secret that I’m pretty temperamental or that I like to be in control of things. When I thought of the kind of bride I was going to be, I was… optimistic that I would try my best to not be a total bridezilla. To my surprise, I was pretty laid back throughout the entire wedding planning process. Okay, that’s a lie. I definitely had my moments. However, I took the advice I agreed with and I stuck with my own ideas of what I wanted our wedding to look like when I wanted to. The day of our wedding I was even more relaxed than I thought I would be. Eager to marry the man of my dreams, but pretty dang relaxed. It’s probably no surprise that I’m going to say this, but IT’S ALL ABOUT YOUR MENTALITY. My wedding day wasn’t about the pictures, the centerpieces, or whether my hair was colored (not that those things aren’t amazing, but it just isn’t what the day was about for us). My wedding day was about marrying Jeremy and celebrating with friends and family, so nothing was going to make me lose sight of that.
That being said, I wanted to answer a few questions my wonderful Instagram followers wanted to know.
“What were your stress triggers? Were you nervous to not be in control on the day of?”
I, honestly, had no stress the day of our wedding. I am guessing I was either numb with anxiety or I just had my eye on the prize. Regardless, I was pretty relaxed during the first part of the day and ridiculously happy after I saw my husband.
A couple of weeks before the wedding, I was a mess. I had this feeling like I was forgetting something… something was going to go horribly wrong because I was forgetting about it. I’m pretty sure I was terrified of putting together an event that was so big and important. Then, one of my good friends reminded me to not stress out.
Easier said than done, right?
Normally, I don’t feel this advice would be particularly unique or helpful. However, she brought a unique perspective to the table. You see, my friend is a photographer and she sees brides a lot more than the average person. She said, “It’s absolutely heartbreaking to witness a bride stressing out about things that, ultimately do not matter. So here’s what you’re going to do: have a mantra for yourself that day.” That was, unknowingly the biggest help I could have received to remind me to keep my sanity on the wedding day.
I didn’t consciously think about these words, but all day long (really, all week long) I repeated the words, “I’m getting married at 4:00.” I don’t even know if people understood what I meant, but it was a reminder for me that no matter what happens, I am getting married to Jeremy at 4:00 pm, November 3rd.
The week before our wedding ended up being more hectic than I planned for, so I didn’t get to color my hair like I wanted to. My mom was stressed out about it, but instead of cramming it into an already overbooked schedule I just said, “My hair is fine. No matter what, I’m getting married at 4:00 on Saturday.” I didn’t end up having as many lights as I thought for the reception area (this is kind of a big deal). We lit up the “dance floor” and called it a day because I was getting married at 4:00 pm, the next day, NO MATTER WHAT. I say “dance floor” because it was more of a dance area. I opted for no dance floor because it just wasn’t in my budget. Was I happy about that? Not really, but I was getting married at 4:00 pm, November 3rd regardless.
It’s been three weeks since the wedding and I’ve been saying that it went perfectly. Now that I really sit and reflect, I know that isn’t true at all. There was plenty that went wrong, but it didn’t feel like anything went “wrong” that day. The day FELT perfect. I didn’t have a fairy tale wedding, but the day was magical. I’m sure I didn’t have a dream wedding, but my wedding day was better than any wedding I could have dreamed of.
“Favorite part of the day?”
I cried the moment Jeremy was visible. Hearing him profess his love for me to our friends and family was my favorite part of the entire day, but I was a nervous wreck. I was too busy hoping that I can remember the words to recite to feel PURE joy in that moment as beautiful as it all was. Nerves. They’ll get the best of ya.
You want to know the most memorable part of the day for me? Well, that’s easy.
My favorite part of the whole wedding was when our friends and family gave their speeches. I wish I could re live those over and over again. We have amazing friends and family. I like to believe we have a decently intimate relationship with most of them, but to have the chance to hear how they feel about us is something I will cherish for the rest of my life. Getting to hear that our best friends find Jeremy humble, kind, easy to talk to, and that I am strong, ambitious, and empowering, then to hear my father in law talk about how well we compliment each other… well, it’s enough to get me through any sort of self doubt in my relationships with them all.
I play the part being confident because I do believe sometimes you need to fake it until you make it, but I’m a flawed and insecure person. I have felt like I am not “good enough” time and time again… especially when it comes to being good enough for a man like Jer. Pro tip – don’t cut your speeches short. Let your friends say what they feel about you in however little or however many words they need to… Duso. (I had to)
“The DIY project you’re most proud of?”
I will post how I did it when I get my gallery from our amazing photographer, but for those that don’t know, I designed my entire wedding from beginning to end with my own vision. Of course my squad pitched in ideas and helped execute the plan, but I didn’t have a wedding planner is what I mean.
Having said that, it is A LOT of work. I love planning parties, but planning my own wedding is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever planned (and ever will plan) in my life. So, if you’re a hard core DIYer like myself and you won’t let anyone talk you out of it, just prepare to be up to your ears in crafts! If you don’t mind someone else taking control and it’s in your budget, I HIGHLY RECOMEND that you hire an event designer.
I really loved our simple, elegant center pieces. One of the reasons I love them so much is because of how inexpensive they were. I don’t have pictures just yet, but be on the lookout for those!
“How was it having such a large wedding party?”
I had no problems with how big my wedding party was. Of course I’m biased, but I’m pretty sure I had one of the most epic wedding parties ever!
“You surround yourself with wolves and you’ll be known as a wolf.” My uncle used to say. Well, if people used words like strong, inspiring, ambitious, natural born leader, and empowering… what does that say about my girls?!
I don’t regret one bit having such a big wedding party. So, please, if you have women you want in your life forever — propose. Propose to them and ask them to be part of the first day of the rest of your life. You don’t have to have this life long friendship, you only have to recognize that she’s someone worth having and that your deserve each other.
“What’s the one piece of advice that you would give the next bride to be?”
Think of a mantra that will help you focus on what the day is about.
**I just want to thank my friend, Jovana, for helping me with my mindfulness on my wedding day with this piece of advice. I will pass these words on to every bride I know. Love you, girl!
All photos are courtesy of Elias Pasillas from Elias Pasillas Photography